Editing Peril:Rogues' Gallery (section)

== PUBLIC NUISANCES ==

<div class="peril-card-grid">

<div class="peril-card">
<h3>The Ballhog</h3>

[[File:Ballhog.jpg|center|250px]]

The Ballhog is a dribbling demon from the darkest courts of the underworld, summoned whenever basketball becomes sufficiently unsportsmanlike. Wreathed in smoke and brimstone, he charges into battle bouncing his infernal ball with terrifying speed and absolutely refuses to pass. His greatest weapon is not hellfire, but possession. Once the Ballhog gets the ball, ''nobody else is touching it.''

'''Known For:''' Demonic dribbling, charging fouls, never passing

'''Threat Level:''' TECHNICAL FOUL

'''Ambition:''' To take every shot

'''Weakness:''' Teamwork

<div class="peril-audio" data-file="YouShallNotPass.mp3">
  <div class="peril-audio-title">You Shall Not Pass!</div>
  <div class="peril-audio-controls"></div>
</div>

</div>

<div class="peril-card">
<h3>Crime Mime</h3>

[[File:CrimeMime.jpg|center|250px]]

Crime Mime is a silent supervillain who commits elaborate robberies using invisible ropes, invisible ladders, invisible weapons, and invisible getaway vehicles. Nobody can determine whether these objects are actually real or whether people simply go along with the performance because interrupting a mime feels rude.

'''Known For:''' Silent crime, invisible props, refusing to answer questions

'''Threat Level:''' UNSEEN

'''Ambition:''' Unspoken

'''Weakness:''' Applause

<div class="peril-audio" data-file="CrimeMimeTime.mp3">
  <div class="peril-audio-title">Crime Mime Time</div>
  <div class="peril-audio-controls"></div>
</div>

</div>

<div class="peril-card">
<h3>Cthulhu, Jr. & Splortch</h3>

[[File:CthulhuJr.jpg|center|250px]]

Cthulhu, Jr. is the teenage son of an ancient cosmic horror, but he’s far more interested in unhappy death metal, dark poetry, Xbox, and being left alone than conquering Earth. At R’lyeh High he broods, gets picked on, avoids homework, and responds to his father’s plans for world domination with a heartfelt: “WHATEVER, DAD.”

His one real friend is Splortch, an adorable shoggoth puppy who is affectionate, destructive, cosmologically unstable, and absolutely a good boy.

'''Known For:''' Brooding, summoning nightmares, refusing to clean his room

'''Threat Level:''' TEENAGER

'''Ambition:''' To move out (when the stars are right)

'''Current Position:''' YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF HIM!

<div class="peril-audio" data-file="CthulhuJrSong.mp3">
  <div class="peril-audio-title">Smells Like Teen Cthulhu</div>
  <div class="peril-audio-controls"></div>
</div>

</div>

<div class="peril-card">
<h3>Doomster</h3>

[[File:Doomster.jpg|center|250px]]

The Doomster is a senior-citizen supervillain whose crime sprees proceed at a stately pace. He’ll rob a bank, complain that the alarms are too loud, forget where he parked the getaway car, and stop to tell nearby teenagers that nobody dressed like that in his day. He remains genuinely dangerous, particularly once he starts predicting catastrophe—but his schedule is rigid. Dinner is at 4:00, bedtime is 7:30, and world domination will have to wait until morning.

'''Known For:''' Doom powers, complaining, moving slowly with purpose, using the phrase "back in my day..."

'''Threat Level:''' WE’RE DOOMED

'''Pet Peeves:''' Loud music, disrespectful kids, modern appliances

'''Weakness:''' Anything scheduled after 6:45 PM

<div class="peril-audio" data-file="DoomsterSong.mp3">
  <div class="peril-audio-title">Ode to the Doomster</div>
  <div class="peril-audio-controls"></div>
</div>

</div>

<div class="peril-card">
<h3>Dr. Kwake</h3>

[[File:DrQuake.jpg|center|250px]]

Born Lackluster Kwak, he attended Science School and earned his doctorate honestly, only to discover that everyone laughed and pointed whenever he introduced himself as “Dr. Kwak.” He added an “e,” turned to villainy, and devoted his scientific genius to earthquakes. His guiding principle is: ''“WHO CONTROLS THE EARTH CONTROLS THE WORLD!”'' This is technically true, but very confusingly worded.

'''Known For:''' Earthquake machines, seismic tantrums, correcting people who call him “Kwak”

'''Threat Level:''' SHAKY

'''Ambition:''' To control the earth, and therefore the world

'''Weakness:''' Being laughed at

<div class="peril-audio" data-file="KwakeShake.mp3">
  <div class="peril-audio-title">Do the Kwake Shake!</div>
  <div class="peril-audio-controls"></div>
</div>

</div>

<div class="peril-card">
<h3>Dr. Waffles</h3>

[[File:DrWaffles.jpg|center|250px]]

Dr. Waffles is a deranged breakfast scientist who has devoted his genius to the most important meal of the day. His guiding principle is simple: ''“WHO CONTROLS BREAKFAST CONTROLS THE WORLD!”'' Armed with weaponized waffle irons, syrup-based super-science, and a terrifying understanding of batter chemistry, Dr. Waffles schemes to seize control of Skyscraper City one breakfast table at a time.

'''Known For:'''Breakfast-based super-science, weaponized waffles, shouting before noon

'''Threat Level:''' BREAKFAST

'''Ambition:''' Global breakfast domination

'''Weakness:''' Lunch

<div class="peril-audio" data-file="DrWaffles.mp3">
  <div class="peril-audio-title">Livin' on Waffle Time</div>
  <div class="peril-audio-controls"></div>
</div>
</div>

<div class="peril-card">
<h3>El Zapata!</h3>

[[File:ElZapata.jpg|center|250px]]

El Zapata! is a cybernetic supervillain whose absurdly enormous power boots can smash walls, launch him across city blocks, and turn an ordinary temper tantrum into a municipal emergency. Unfortunately, the boots are so large that walking normally, using stairs, and entering most buildings present serious tactical difficulties.

'''Known For:''' Cyber-boots, power kicks, colossal footprints

'''Threat Level:''' BOOTED

'''Ambition:''' To kick his way to the top

'''Weakness:''' Tight corners
<div class="peril-audio" data-file="ElZapataSong.mp3">
  <div class="peril-audio-title">Mi Amor, El Zapata!</div>
  <div class="peril-audio-controls"></div>
</div>

</div>

<div class="peril-card">
<h3>Felonious Monk</h3>

[[File:FeloniousMonk.jpg|center|250px]]

Felonious Monk is a cat-burglar chimpanzee whose monastic robes conceal lockpicks, grappling hooks, glass cutters, smoke bombs, and a distressing quantity of stolen jewelry. He approaches every burglary with deep concentration, perfect balance, and absolutely no respect for private property.

'''Known For:''' Cat burglary, acrobatics, contemplative crime

'''Threat Level:''' MONKEY BUSINESS

'''Ambition:''' Inner peace and other people’s valuables

'''Weakness:''' Easily distracted by shiny objects

</div>

<div class="peril-card">
<h3>Hellbatross</h3>

[[File:Hellbatross.jpg|center|250px]]

Hellbatross is an infernal seabird with the wingspan of a small aircraft, the temperament of a garbage disposal, and absolutely no respect for air-traffic regulations. He swoops over Skyscraper City trailing smoke, doom-squawking loud enough to rattle windows, and somehow flying perfectly well despite the gigantic rusty anchor chained to one leg. The aviator goggles are his own idea.

'''Known For:''' Dive-bombing, doom-squawking, maritime symbolism

'''Threat Level:''' AROUND YOUR NECK

'''Special Ability:''' Flying while carrying an anchor

'''Weakness:''' Bread crumbs. Probably.

<div class="peril-audio" data-file="Hellbatross.mp3">
  <div class="peril-audio-title">Ballad of the Hellbatross</div>
  <div class="peril-audio-controls"></div>
</div>

</div>

<div class="peril-card">
<h3>Lobster Lord</h3>

[[File:LobsterLord.jpg|center|250px]]

Lobster Lord commits crimes from inside a massive suit of red lobster-shaped battle armor. Whether he intends to rob banks or conquer the world varies from scheme to scheme, but his faith in the superiority of crustacean engineering never wavers. As he frequently reminds baffled hostages: ''“WE HAVE MUCH TO LEARN FROM THE LOBSTER!”''

'''Known For:''' Lobster armor, armored claws, crustacean lectures

'''Threat Level:''' BUTTERED

'''Ambition:''' Bank robbery or world conquest; he forgets which

'''Weaknesses:''' Nutcrackers and drawn butter

<div class="peril-audio" data-file="LobsterLordNewSong.mp3">
  <div class="peril-audio-title">Song Of The Lobster Lord</div>
  <div class="peril-audio-controls"></div>
</div>

</div>

<div class="peril-card">
<h3>Lord Fondu</h3>

[[File:LordFondu.jpg|center|250px]]

Lord Fondu is the self-proclaimed master of cheese, a masked criminal dandy who regards every robbery as a tasting and every hostage situation as an opportunity to lecture people about proper serving temperature. Armed with his three-pronged fondue staff and an arsenal of weaponized cheesey bits, he has flooded bank vaults with molten cheese, encased police cars in cheddar, and once held an entire diplomatic reception hostage over the correct pronunciation of “Gruyère.”

'''Known For:''' Weaponized cheese, criminal elegance, unbearable culinary opinions

'''Known As:''' The Foul Fiend of Fromage!

'''Threat Level:''' MELTED

'''Ambition:''' To make Skyscraper City kneel before the power of fromage

'''Weakness:''' Lactose intolerance

<div class="peril-audio" data-file="CheesyWaltz.mp3">
  <div class="peril-audio-title">The Cheesy Waltz</div>
  <div class="peril-audio-controls"></div>
</div>

</div>

<div class="peril-card">
<h3>Paper Tiger</h3>

[[File:PaperTiger.jpg|center|250px]]

Paper Tiger can fold ordinary paper into airplanes, weapons, tools, escape vehicles, and nearly anything else required for a life of crime. He dresses in orange and black and is accompanied by a small origami Shih-Tzu whose usefulness is debatable but whose little folded face is beyond reproach.

'''Known For:''' Weaponized origami, paper constructs, excellent creases

'''Threat Level:''' PAPER CUT

'''Ambition:''' To fold Skyscraper City to his will

'''Weakness:''' Water

<div class="peril-audio" data-file="PaperTigerSong.mp3">
  <div class="peril-audio-title">Master of the Folded Arts!</div>
  <div class="peril-audio-controls"></div>
</div>
</div>

<div class="peril-card">
<h3>Pasta-Pot Pete</h3>

[[File:PastaPotPete.jpg|center|250px]]

Pasta-Pot Pete is a culinary criminal who has somehow turned pasta into a complete supervillain theme. Draped in noodles, armed with oversized kitchen implements, and usually splattered with sauce, Pete barrels into battle like dinner has gone horribly wrong. His schemes generally involve pasta in quantities no reasonable person would ever require.

'''Known For:''' Weaponized pasta, boiling-hot marinara sauce, carbohydrate-based crime

'''Threat Level:''' AL DENTE

'''Ambition:''' To put Skyscraper City on a permanent pasta diet

'''Weakness:''' Overcooking

<div class="peril-audio" data-file="PastaPotPeteSong.mp3">
  <div class="peril-audio-title">That's-a Pete!</div>
  <div class="peril-audio-controls"></div>
</div>


</div>

<div class="peril-card">
<h3>Rockodile</h3>

[[File:Rockadile.jpg|center|250px]]
Rockodile is a reptilian bruiser with the soul of a lounge singer and the wardrobe of a Vegas comeback special. He stomps through Skyscraper City in a rhinestone-studded jumpsuit, giant pompadour, and enough gold trim to blind traffic. Nobody is entirely sure whether he became a supervillain before or after discovering Elvis, but at this point the distinction is academic.

'''Known For:''' Reptilian strength, crooning, property damage, unnecessary pelvic thrusts

'''Threat Level:''' ALL SHOOK UP

'''Ambition:''' To be the King

'''Weakness:''' Blue suede shoes

<div class="peril-audio" data-file="VivaRockadile.mp3">
  <div class="peril-audio-title">Viva Rockadile!</div>
  <div class="peril-audio-controls"></div>
</div>

</div>

<div class="peril-card">
<h3>Shutterbug</h3>

[[File:Shutterbug.jpg|center|250px]]

Shutterbug is a camera-headed criminal photographer who believes every crime deserves professional coverage. His mechanical head contains a bewildering assortment of lenses, flashes, shutters, and photographic gadgets, allowing him to document his own offenses while making everyone else look terrible.

'''Known For:''' Camera equipment, blinding flashes, incriminating photographs

'''Threat Level:''' OVEREXPOSED

'''Ambition:''' To capture the crime of the century

'''Weakness:''' Lens caps

</div>

<div class="peril-card">
<h3>The Stain</h3>

[[File:TheStain.jpg|center|250px]]

The Stain is a spreading blot on Skyscraper City and on society generally. He seeps beneath doors, leaves incriminating marks wherever he goes, and can ruin clothing, upholstery, carpets, and civic morale with equal efficiency. Once the Stain appears, getting rid of him is considerably harder than it ought to be.

'''Known For:''' Spreading, seeping, permanent discoloration

'''Threat Level:''' SET IN

'''Ambition:''' To leave his mark on Skyscraper City

'''Weakness:''' Club soda

<div class="peril-audio" data-file="TheStainSong.mp3">
  <div class="peril-audio-title">You Can't Beat The Stain!</div>
  <div class="peril-audio-controls"></div>
</div>

</div>

</div>

{{PerilNav}}

</div>

[[Category:Peril Patrol]]