Peril:Rogues' Gallery
ROGUES' GALLERY
KNOWN SUPER-VILLAINS, CRIMINAL MASTERMINDS, MONSTERS, ROBUTS & OTHER NUISANCES
Skyscraper City has produced more than its fair share of costumed criminals, mad scientists, monsters, alien invaders, evil robots, and people who really ought to find something more constructive to do with their afternoons.
The following individuals are considered dangerous, ridiculous, or — in several cases — both.
SPAM
Members: Dr. Dolphin, Space Vamp, Black Mungis, The Stranger
The Peril Patrol's most persistent opposite number, SPAM is a loose alliance of super-villains united by ambition, mutual convenience, and the general conviction that the Peril Patrol ought to be stopped.
Preferably while everyone is watching.
Dr. Dolphin
Occupation: Aquatic criminal genius
Known For: Mad science, elaborate schemes, and being considerably more dangerous than anyone named "Dr. Dolphin" has a right to be.
Threat Level: HIGH TIDE
A brilliant inventor and veteran super-villain, Dr. Dolphin has repeatedly demonstrated that living in the ocean is no impediment to plotting against civilization.
Space Vamp
Occupation: Former super-villain, professional menace
Known For: Flamboyance, super-strength, theatrical entrances
Threat Level: FABULOUS
Space Vamp is powerful, dangerous, enormously pleased with himself, and absolutely unwilling to enter a room normally when a dramatic entrance is available.
Black Mungis
Species: Enormous land-going seahorse thing
Known For: Head jewel, laser beams, inexplicable mobility on dry land
Threat Level: MUNGIS
The Black Mungis is a huge seahorse-like creature capable of surviving on land and firing destructive energy beams from the jewel embedded in its forehead.
Nobody is entirely sure why.
The Stranger
Occupation: Unknown
Known For: Mystery
Threat Level: STRANGE
Nobody knows where the Stranger came from.
Nobody knows what the Stranger wants.
Nobody is particularly comfortable asking.
THE GOON SQUAD
Members: Major Metal, Moppin' Man, The Emu, Le Cravat
A collection of costumed criminals who have discovered that four bad ideas working together can occasionally become one extremely bad idea.
Major Metal
Known For: Commanding the Goon Squad
Threat Level: CLANKING
Moppin' Man
Known For: Mopping
Threat Level: SLIPPERY WHEN WET
The Emu
Known For: Being an emu-themed super-villain
Threat Level: FLIGHTLESS
Le Cravat
Known For: Criminal elegance
Threat Level: FORMAL
MAJOR MENACES
Robo-Nixon
Classification: Robut President
Known For: Scheming, denial, being a robut
Associate: Checkers-1000
Threat Level: CROOKED
The most dangerous and cunning of all the robut presidents, Robo-Nixon has menaced the Peril Patrol with mechanical ruthlessness, political cunning, and an apparently inexhaustible supply of contingency plans.
He is frequently accompanied by his vicious little robut dog, Checkers-1000.
Atomic Head
Occupation: Super-scientific criminal mastermind
Known For: Atomic menace, masked henchmen, SCIENCE!
Threat Level: ATOMIC
Atomic Head commands an army of anonymous Masked Science Goons in fireproof suits.
The Goons perform the usual duties expected of super-scientific henchmen: operating improbable machinery, stealing experimental devices, guarding secret laboratories, and getting punched through doors by superheroes.
They are broadly comparable to other organizations of masked science criminals, with one important distinction:
They are not unionized.
ATOMIC HEAD'S MASKED SCIENCE GOONS
Uniform: Fireproof full-body suit and mask
Primary Duties: SCIENCE!, security, abduction, equipment theft, shouting
Benefits: None
Dental: Absolutely not
Zambonus
Zambonus is an ancient cosmic entity whose sole purpose is to zamboni planets. He arrives without warning from the depths of space aboard the colossal Zambonifier(TM), a machine large enough to straddle continents. Once in position, he descends to the planetary surface and begins the Zambonification Process: scraping mountains flat, shaving forests down to stubble, filling oceans into neat level basins, and polishing the entire world to a smooth, gleaming finish. Civilizations, ecosystems, monuments, and inconveniently placed hometowns are all treated as surface imperfections.
Zambonus does not conquer planets. He does not destroy them out of hatred. He does not seek tribute, worship, or political control. He simply cannot abide an uneven surface.
Known For: Planetary resurfacing, cosmic maintenance, leaving worlds unnervingly smooth
Threat Level: FRESHLY RESURFACED
Mission: To zamboni planets
Weakness: Possibly rough ice. No one has been brave enough to test this.
PUBLIC NUISANCES
Cthulhu, Jr. & Splortch
Cthulhu, Jr. is the teenage son of an ancient cosmic horror, but he’s far more interested in unhappy death metal, dark poetry, Xbox, and being left alone than conquering Earth. At R’lyeh High he broods, gets picked on, avoids homework, and responds to his father’s plans for world domination with a heartfelt: “WHATEVER, DAD.”
His one real friend is Splortch, an adorable shoggoth puppy who is affectionate, destructive, cosmologically unstable, and absolutely a good boy.
Known For: Brooding, summoning nightmares, refusing to clean his room
Threat Level: TEENAGER
Ambition: To move out (when the stars are right)
Current Position: YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF HIM!
Pasta-Pot Pete
Pasta-Pot Pete is a culinary criminal who has somehow turned pasta into a complete supervillain theme. Draped in noodles, armed with oversized kitchen implements, and usually splattered with sauce, Pete barrels into battle like dinner has gone horribly wrong. His schemes generally involve pasta in quantities no reasonable person would ever require.
Known For: Weaponized pasta, boiling-hot marinara sauce, carbohydrate-based crime Threat Level: AL DENTE
Ambition: To put Skyscraper City on a permanent pasta diet
Weakness: Overcooking
The Ballhog
The Ballhog is a dribbling demon from the darkest courts of the underworld, summoned whenever basketball becomes sufficiently unsportsmanlike. Wreathed in smoke and brimstone, he charges into battle bouncing his infernal ball with terrifying speed and absolutely refuses to pass. His greatest weapon is not hellfire, but possession. Once the Ballhog gets the ball, nobody else is touching it.
Known For: Demonic dribbling, charging fouls, never passing
Threat Level: TECHNICAL FOUL
Ambition: To take every shot
Weakness: Teamwork
Doomster
Known For: Doom
Threat Level: DOOM
Dr. Waffles
Dr. Waffles is a deranged breakfast scientist who has devoted his genius to the most important meal of the day. His guiding principle is simple: “WHO CONTROLS BREAKFAST CONTROLS THE WORLD!” Armed with weaponized waffle irons, syrup-based super-science, and a terrifying understanding of batter chemistry, Dr. Waffles schemes to seize control of Skyscraper City one breakfast table at a time.
Known For:Breakfast-based super-science, weaponized waffles, shouting before noon
Threat Level: BREAKFAST
Ambition: Global breakfast domination
Weakness: Lunch
Rockadile
Rockodile is a reptilian bruiser with the soul of a lounge singer and the wardrobe of a Vegas comeback special. He stomps through Skyscraper City in a rhinestone-studded jumpsuit, giant pompadour, and enough gold trim to blind traffic. Nobody is entirely sure whether he became a supervillain before or after discovering Elvis, but at this point the distinction is academic.
Known For: Reptilian strength, crooning, property damage, unnecessary pelvic thrusts
Threat Level: ALL SHOOK UP
Ambition: To be the King
Weakness: Blue suede shoes
Lord Fondu
Lord Fondu is the self-proclaimed aristocrat of cheese, a masked criminal dandy who regards every robbery as a tasting and every hostage situation as an opportunity to lecture people about proper serving temperature. Armed with his three-pronged fondue staff and an arsenal of weaponized fromage, he has flooded bank vaults with molten cheese, encased police cars in cheddar, and once held an entire diplomatic reception hostage over the correct pronunciation of “Gruyère.”
Known For: Weaponized cheese, criminal elegance, unbearable culinary opinions
Known As: The Foul Fiend of Fromage!
Threat Level: MELTED
Ambition: To make Skyscraper City kneel before the power of fromage
Weakness: Lactose intolerance
Hellbatross
Hellbatross is an infernal seabird with the wingspan of a small aircraft, the temperament of a garbage disposal, and absolutely no respect for air-traffic regulations. He swoops over Skyscraper City trailing smoke, doom-squawking loud enough to rattle windows, and somehow flying perfectly well despite the gigantic rusty anchor chained to one leg. The aviator goggles are his own idea.
Known For: Dive-bombing, doom-squawking, maritime symbolism
Threat Level: AROUND YOUR NECK
Special Ability: Flying while carrying an anchor
Weakness: Bread crumbs. Probably.