Peril:RPG/Pregens
Pregenerated Characters
[edit]No character generation required. Pick an idiot and start playing.
The following characters are ready to play. They demonstrate the basic Peril Patrol character format and can be used for one-shots, convention games, online play or any session where nobody wants to spend even five minutes making somebody new.
The heroes fit comfortably on index cards. The villains are ready for the Editor to drop into an issue with almost no preparation. The Goons are even simpler, because nobody needs a detailed psychological profile for the man guarding the door to the earthquake machine.
None of these characters has been subjected to anything resembling point balance.
Players pick heroes.
The Editor picks a villain.
Add Goons as necessary.
Heroes begin with the listed Hit Points and 2 Kabooms.
Then wait for something to explode.
Heroes
[edit]Mastermind
[edit]Concept: Pompous psychic genius with an enormous exposed brain and unlimited confidence in his own brilliance.
Brawn 2 • Zip 3 • Brains 6 • Moxie 5
Talents: Science!, Supervillains
Powers:
- Mental Power — Brainy-Blast
- Telekinesis — Psychic Force
Signature Gear: Brain-protection helmet apparatus, when he remembers it.
Running Gag: Mastermind never admits that he made a mistake. Any disaster was either deliberate, unavoidable or part of a much larger plan everyone else has failed to understand.
Catchphrase!: “I meant to do that.”
HP: 8
Kabooms: ● ● ○ ○ ○
Mastermind is the team's supposed leader, largely because Mastermind says so. He is extraordinarily intelligent, powerfully psychic and entirely capable of turning a minor tactical error into a citywide emergency rather than acknowledge that his original plan was bad.
Use Brains whenever possible. Brainy-Blast handles direct psychic attacks, while Telekinesis provides enormous flexibility for lifting, throwing, grabbing, shielding and manipulating things at a distance. Moxie makes Mastermind unusually dangerous in a Monologue!, particularly when explaining why everything is going according to plan.
Chameleon
[edit]Concept: Cowardly humanoid gecko shapeshifter who would very much prefer not to participate in anything dangerous.
Brawn 2 • Zip 5 • Brains 3 • Moxie 4
Talents: Sneaking, Disguise
Powers:
- Transform — Shapeshifting
- Special Movement — Gecko Climbing
Signature Gear: None. Carrying equipment would imply commitment.
Running Gag: Whenever genuine danger appears, Chameleon develops an urgent reason to leave.
Catchphrase!: “I have a thing.”
HP: 9
Kabooms: ● ● ○ ○ ○
Chameleon can imitate people, animals and objects, climb almost anything and escape situations that sensible heroes would never have entered in the first place.
Transform is his main Power. Use it creatively rather than treating it as a list of approved forms. Becoming a guard, chair, fire extinguisher, chicken, filing cabinet or something nobody can immediately identify are all legitimate approaches to a problem.
Chameleon's Running Gag is also one of the easiest ways to earn Kabooms. If abandoning the team, hiding under furniture or inventing an obviously fraudulent appointment genuinely complicates the situation, collect the reward.
Cowardice is not a character flaw.
It is a resource.
Tokyo Joe
[edit]Concept: Tiny, wildly enthusiastic pilot and mecha hero who considers caution a personal insult.
Brawn 2 • Zip 6 • Brains 4 • Moxie 5
Talents: Pilot, Giant Robots
Powers:
- Resourceful — Ace Pilot
- Gadgetry — Mecha Systems
Signature Gear: Giant Mecha — Armor, Super-Strength, Blast
Running Gag: Tokyo Joe commits enthusiastically before hearing the entire plan.
Catchphrase!: “SUPER YEAH! OK, CHIEF!”
HP: 10
Kabooms: ● ● ○ ○ ○
Tokyo Joe is four feet of unstoppable enthusiasm wrapped around the best piloting reflexes in Skyscraper City.
Outside his mecha, Joe relies on Zip, Pilot and sheer nerve. Inside the robot, his Signature Gear grants Armor, Super-Strength and Blast, along with whatever emergency feature everyone discovers this week.
Joe is ideal for players who like movement, vehicle Stunts and solving strategic problems by accelerating directly toward them.
When someone says, “Whatever you do, don't touch that—”
Joe has probably already touched it.
Mister Chips
[edit]Concept: Obsolete but remarkably competent robut who would like to be reassigned to an organization with basic adult supervision.
Brawn 3 • Zip 3 • Brains 6 • Moxie 4
Talents: Computers, Robotics
Powers:
- Gadgetry — Built-In Systems
- Super-Senses — Electronic Sensors
Signature Gear: Himself.
Running Gag: Mister Chips gives sensible technical advice. The heroes ignore him. Something explodes.
Catchphrase!: “I request transfer.”
HP: 11
Kabooms: ● ● ○ ○ ○
Mister Chips is an old desktop-computer-style artificial intelligence who somehow became one of the most reliable members of the Peril Patrol.
He is excellent at computers, machines, analysis and anything that requires someone to understand what the blinking warning light means. Gadgetry covers built-in tools, scanners, communications equipment and other systems that were apparently installed sometime during the early Reagan administration.
Remember the special Robuts Are Usually Right rule. When Mister Chips gives sensible technical advice, the heroes ignore it, and disaster follows, he earns a Kaboom.
He will still not receive an apology.
The Cavalier
[edit]Concept: Aging celebrity superhero in knightly armor whose glory days are behind him, though nobody has informed him.
Brawn 4 • Zip 2 • Brains 2 • Moxie 6
Talents: Shield Fighting, Celebrity
Powers:
- Armor — Knightly Battle Gear
- Resourceful — Veteran Superhero
Signature Gear: Shield; Charger, his long-suffering robut horse.
Running Gag: The Cavalier assumes strangers recognize him, admire him or are waiting for an autograph.
Catchphrase!: “People to see! Crime to fight!”
HP: 12
Kabooms: ● ● ○ ○ ○
The Cavalier has been fighting crime for a very long time and remembers most of it as considerably more glamorous than it actually was.
He is tough, experienced and almost impossible to embarrass because embarrassment requires self-awareness. His strongest weapon is Moxie. Use Celebrity freely with reporters, fans, officials and anyone he believes should be impressed by him. Resourceful represents decades of superhero experience, old contacts, obscure tricks and the occasional genuinely useful idea buried beneath several layers of ego.
His shield can block, bash, ricochet and perform any other shield-related Stunt that seems appropriate. Charger handles transportation, tactical support and nearly all difficult thinking.
The Cavalier will accept credit for Charger's work.
Picking a Hero
[edit]If you are not sure whom to play:
| If You Want To... | Play... |
|---|---|
| Be the brilliant leader whether anyone agrees or not | Mastermind |
| Avoid danger through increasingly desperate nonsense | Chameleon |
| Fly things, drive things and punch things with a giant robot | Tokyo Joe |
| Be competent while surrounded by lunatics | Mister Chips |
| Dominate every room through confidence unsupported by evidence | The Cavalier |
There is no requirement that every member of the regular Peril Patrol appear in every issue. Use whichever characters the players want, add original heroes, invite guest stars or assemble a completely inappropriate team.
Villains
[edit]The Editor does not need to build a villain from scratch before every issue. The following three are ready to use and demonstrate increasingly unreasonable levels of opposition.
Villains do not normally need Kabooms. They already have the Editor.
Dr. Quake
[edit]Concept: Short-tempered earthquake scientist who became a supervillain after everyone kept laughing at the name Dr. Kwak.
Brawn 2 • Zip 2 • Brains 6 • Moxie 5
Talents: Earth Science, Mad Science
Powers:
- Gadgetry — Earthquake Technology
- Blast — Seismic Force
Signature Gear: The Quake-O-Matic and various completely irresponsible seismic devices.
Obsession: “Who controls the earth controls the world!”
Stupid Weakness: Being called Kwak.
Catchphrase!: “WHO CONTROLS THE EARTH CONTROLS THE WORLD!”
HP: 9
Dr. Quake was born Lackluster Kwak, attended Science School and became a perfectly legitimate doctor, only to discover that nobody could hear “Dr. Kwak” without laughing. He eventually added an e and turned to earthquake-based supervillainy, which he regarded as the mature response.
Dr. Quake prefers machinery to personal combat. His laboratories should contain seismic amplifiers, vibration cannons, unstable platforms, enormous drills and control panels labeled with settings such as TREMOR, QUAKE and MAXIMUM QUAKE.
His greatest tactical vulnerability is not mechanical.
It is The Cavalier calling him Kwak.
Lobster Lord
[edit]Concept: Armored supervillain who believes humanity has ignored the obvious lessons of the lobster.
Brawn 5 • Zip 2 • Brains 3 • Moxie 5
Talents: Armored Combat, Marine Biology
Powers:
- Armor — Lobster Battle Armor
- Super-Strength
Signature Gear: Lobster Battle Armor, including armored claws and equipment of increasingly questionable crustacean relevance.
Obsession: Humanity must learn from the lobster.
Stupid Weakness: Nutcrackers and drawn butter.
Catchphrase!: “We have much to learn from the lobster!”
HP: 12
Lobster Lord is straightforward enough to run: walk into things, grab things with enormous claws and explain why the lobster represents a superior model for human civilization.
His armor supports Super-Strength, heavy protection and any reasonable lobster-themed Stunt. He may scuttle sideways. He may survive underwater. He may have claw-mounted weaponry. If the Editor suddenly decides the suit contains an emergency shell-hardening system, nobody should be surprised.
The heroes should eventually notice the obvious problem.
He is a lobster-themed villain.
This means a giant nutcracker is not merely allowed.
It is practically mandatory.
Atomic Head
[edit]Concept: Nuclear-powered world conqueror with enough raw power to make direct combat an extremely poor career decision.
Brawn 6 • Zip 4 • Brains 6 • Moxie 6
Talents: World Conquest, Atomic Science
Powers:
- Blast — Atomic Energy
- Armor — Atomic Body
Signature Gear: World Conquest Corps facilities, superweapons and the unionized Masked Science Goons.
Obsession: World conquest, followed by competent centralized management under Atomic Head.
Stupid Weakness: His plans require enormous machinery, extensive staffing and far more explanation than necessary.
Catchphrase!: “THE WORLD SHALL BOW BEFORE ATOMIC HEAD!”
HP: 15
Atomic Head is what happens when the Editor stops pretending the fight is fair.
He is stronger than most heroes, tougher than most heroes, smarter than most heroes and fully capable of vaporizing important scenery. The players should quickly understand that simply trading attacks with him is a bad plan.
Atomic Head should therefore surround himself with other problems: superweapons that can be sabotaged, Goons who can be persuaded to stop working, control rooms full of obvious switches, citywide evacuation problems, unstable atomic machinery and long Monologues in which he explains considerably more than necessary.
If the heroes defeat Atomic Head by finding an exploit, sabotaging the apparatus or turning his organization against him, the rules are working.
Dr. Quake is dangerous.
Lobster Lord is tougher.
Atomic Head can ruin everybody's afternoon.
The heroes are not promised an opponent they can defeat in a fair fight.
They are promised an opponent they can do something about.
Goons
[edit]Goons are supporting opposition. They guard doors, operate machinery, haul equipment, kidnap scientists, chase heroes through corridors and absorb the first several punches of any respectable fight.
Do not give them full character sheets.
A typical Goon has:
Brawn 3 • Zip 3 • Brains 2 • Moxie 2
HP: 3
Give the Goon one useful Talent and whatever ordinary equipment the job requires.
Masked Science Goon
[edit]Brawn 3 • Zip 3 • Brains 2 • Moxie 2
Talent: Science!
Gear: Lab coat, mask, clipboard, raygun or suspicious scientific implement.
HP: 3
Masked Science Goons operate death rays, maintain laboratories, install enormous electrodes, wheel volatile equipment through hallways and perform the actual technical work behind many world-conquest schemes.
They are often unionized.
This means they may object to unsafe working conditions, unauthorized overtime, duties outside their classification or any instruction involving equipment for which they have not been properly certified.
A successful Monologue about workplace safety can be surprisingly effective.
Security Goon
[edit]Brawn 3 • Zip 3 • Brains 2 • Moxie 2
Talent: Security
Gear: Uniform, radio, raygun, keys to one door but not the other door.
HP: 3
Security Goons guard entrances, patrol corridors and challenge anyone who looks suspicious.
Unfortunately, this means they are frequently defeated by uniforms, clipboards, confidence and statements beginning with:
- You weren't informed?
They are best used as an obstacle rather than a serious combat threat.
Abduction Goon
[edit]Brawn 3 • Zip 3 • Brains 2 • Moxie 2
Talent: Abduction
Gear: Van, rope, sack, chloroform that probably should not be examined scientifically.
HP: 3
Abduction Goons specialize in grabbing scientists, officials, reporters, heroes' friends and anyone else whose disappearance will cause the issue to happen.
The Talent Abduction is intentionally vague. It covers grabbing people, transporting captives, knowing where the service entrance is and having access to a suspicious van.
Do not ask where they studied this.
Heavy Equipment Goon
[edit]Brawn 3 • Zip 3 • Brains 2 • Moxie 2
Talent: Forklifts
Gear: Forklift, crane, loader, truck or other equipment the villain probably rented under a false name.
HP: 3
Heavy Equipment Goons move giant machinery, load secret weapons, transport dangerous materials and provide the Editor with an excuse to put a forklift in the scene.
They are surprisingly useful.
Their equipment is even more useful after the heroes steal it.
Generic Goon
[edit]If none of the above fits, make one up.
Brawn 3 • Zip 3 • Brains 2 • Moxie 2
Talent: Whatever their job is.
Gear: Whatever their job requires.
HP: 3
That covers Ninja Goon, Pirate Goon, Sewer Goon, Robot Goon, Cheese Goon, Museum Goon, Construction Goon and almost anything else.
If the Goon becomes interesting enough to need another Talent or several Powers, give them a name and promote them to villain.
Goon Mobs
[edit]A large number of identical Goons can act as a Mob rather than individually.
When working together, a Goon Mob gets +2 to Brawn or Zip. Remove the bonus once the heroes have knocked enough members out of the group.
Do not track every Goon separately. A good Stunt may remove several of them at once, particularly when furniture, machinery, water, ice, electricity or an open elevator shaft becomes involved.
Goons also know when the job has gone bad. They may surrender, flee, hide, complain about working conditions or suddenly remember that their shift ended twenty minutes ago.
When the superweapon explodes, the base starts collapsing and the boss has already escaped:
the Goons do not need a morale roll.
They leave.
Changing the Pregens
[edit]These characters are examples, not sacred text.
If a player wants to change a Talent, adjust an Attribute, add a favorite Stunt or alter a piece of Gear, do it. The character should still fit on the index card and should still be recognizable as the same basic joke.
The Editor can alter villains just as freely. Change their Powers, add machinery, replace Goons, invent a new Stupid Weakness or increase their Hit Points if the fiction calls for it.
Do not rebalance everybody afterward.
There was no balance to begin with.
Players choose heroes.
The Editor chooses a villain.
Add Goons.
Take 2 Kabooms.
Introduce trouble.
FIGHT CRIME BADLY.
RPG Home • Characters! • Doing Stuff! • Fights! • Monologues! • Kabooms! • Powers & Stunts! • Gear! • The Editor! • Random Tables! • Issues & Series Play! • Pregens!